Change My Name
After Marriage ?

I'm not so sure I would
do it the same way again

I never thought about whether I would change my name after marriage until after I was married and began to notice the differences that resulted from marrying an Iranian.

As someone born in the USA, the thought never entered my head that to change my name after marriage would be to “obey” my male partner.

This is a tradition in Iran that includes women subjugating themselves to their husbands.

After all we lived in America where the laws and social norms are very different to those in Iran.

My first experience of a change to my name after marriage occurred after I went back to school.

My first report to come in the mail included my married name, address, social security number, and other info regarding grades, units earned, etc.

However, on the back of the report, was an interesting table of ethnicity data that included a list of blank boxes next to each ethnicity… except for the one which identified the ethnicity of the student.

This all American white girl had been transformed, with the stroke of a pen, into a middle easterner. This was somewhat ironic, since the only thing eastern about me was that I grew up on the eastern coast of the U.S.

No Real Benefits to Changing My Name

After I decided to change my name after marriage, I can honestly say that there were no real tangible benefits.

I realize that a woman “gives herself” symbolically to a man, expressing her respect, devotion, and obedience.

She also agrees, without actually saying so, that his male status and name is superior in some way to that of the woman.

But the decision was made and the practical issues to change my name after marriage became more important than some academic argument.

I had to leave that up to those who have more time and interest in finding some deep seated meaning in the gesture.

What takes up more time and effort, is jumping through the administrative hoops to ensure compliance with the requirements to choosing to change my name after marriage.

Name Change Kits

Something I learned about afterwards, if only I had known about before, were things like the Official New Bride Name Change Kit

As it was I did everything the hard way. I had to provide a certified and notarized copy of my marriage license to many different institutions, so I had to obtain at least five notarized copies, which are not cheap.

I had to notify the Department of Motor Vehicles I had changed my name, and pay to do so, which is the equivalent of a change of address. I also had to provide them with a certified copy of my marriage license (not a photo copy).

Last but by no means least I completed many forms to notify the Social Security Office. Would I change my name after marriage if I were to marry again ? I'm not so sure I would do it the same way again.

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